Good Day Saints.
There are so many hurting people including Christians that I want to reach out to, because of the pain I did bear, which has given me a desire to reach out to bless others in their time of need. Most remarkably is what we think is often a curse when we go through trials is something that God can use through us to be a blessing to many others who are in need of comfort. Had I not gone through many of the trials that I would normally would rather had not, God would not be able to use myself as an example to reach out to others who are in need. He often brings us through certain valleys to be a special vessel of Him to reach out to be a blessing to others that are going through similar trials we had once gone through. This lesson by reaching out to others is what builds healthy relationships that is not easily broken.
As I contemplate often of how people have reacted to myself when I was going through deep valleys, I always appreciated those who understood my pain and did not simply give me a bunch of wise counsel all the time, but just to know they understood what I was going through and to just be there in prayer as a friend would. Sometimes, the best thing we can do for someone who is struggling and going through difficult times is to say nothing and hold their hand and weep with those who weep (Romans 12:15). I have often heard that the best counselors were not the ones who often gave advice to their clients, but were the ones who simply asked questions, showed interest to the person grieving because they simply listened to them intently. When Job was going through his darkest days, he was most frustrated with his friends because they thought they had all the answers to the problems of his trials with giving advice rather than comforting him at his greatest time of need. No confrontations ever took place when his friends decided to grieve with him for the first 7 days when nothing was said but were there which comforted him (Job 2:11-13). Then the problems all started when Jobs friends tried to counsel and lecture him to make him think it was due to some sort of sin he was being punished for, rather than to console him by sharing his grief and grieving with him. I have found when I went through deep valleys, the best medicine I had received was when people just were interested to listen and understand the grief that one goes through. I have found that when we allow someone to go through a grieving process, an internal cleansing takes place deep within their soul. I also realized that although grieving was healthy, self pity on the other hand can be destructive. In 2 Cor 7:10, Paul tells the Corinthians that Godly sorrow and grief is what heals us and brings forth life, while worldly sorrow brings forth death. The fact that just the difference between grieving (Godly sorrow) and self pity (worldly sorrow) can be the result of such a great magnitude, where one brings life and healing, when the other destroys and leads to death, I think it is worth taking a serious look at. The initial problem I see that leads a person to later developing self-pity is when a person becomes so consumed in their self-interests only. When you care so much for your "self" and often do not give regard to any other, I believe worldly sorrow comes in to effect. Because when things don't go right for you, what you have hoped to satisfy your selfish needs has failed at meeting your needs or your expectations. Often times, when we put too much expectations on people, especially to our husbands or wives, we are in for a rough relationship because they are going to fail us regardless, when we should be putting our expectations on the One who died on the Cross for the entire world (1 John 2:2) Other instances I believe causes worldly sorrow is when a person puts all their hopes in their job, the economy, and/or the government to take care of them or finding security in the things we possess. Sooner or later, these things that are truly unstable are not going to be there for you and when they become a loss, or they have failed you, a person turns inwardly and develops worldly sorrow which does nothing but destroy the person by having self pity. This is that worldly sorrow we read about that brings forth death.
For myself, I believe that the tremendous trials I had gone through and endured was much harder than I needed to go through. Simply because back 15 years or a couple of decades ago, I was so consumed in doing so much for me, accomplishing so much for myself that I had very little time, if any, to have any care or thought for anyone else. I was consumed with self and when things did not go right and all seemed wrong, I was close to being destroyed by the real enemy who used this opportunity for me to be consumed with what I wanted out of life rather than finding fulfillment in what I could do for others. I know as I look back, if I had not been so consumed with living for "self" and fulfilling my self-interests so much, any unfortunate incidents that took place would have been far less devastating for me had I not been so consumed with thinking of taking care of "me". It is always amazing that everyone I have met that has lived more selfishly are the ones who are more bitter about life in general. Even in cartoon characters, when young people looks at them, the greedy and self indulgent characters always have that ugly and upsetting look about themselves. No wonder the Bible (which gives us Life), tells us that it is more blessed to give then to receive (Acts 20:35). As I continue on the part of this series, we will continue with this topic on the great difference between the destructive effects of worldly sorrow and true Godly sorrow that truly does heal ones soul that brings forth life.
Please feel free to visit my website and Blog address below. God bless.
In the Matchless Name of Jesus
Richard
http://sites.google.com/site/greatestbuilderforourlife
http://www.answers2prayer.org/
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